The EELS almost disappointed me last night. For the first four songs I think they were laboring under the misapprehension that they were Motorhead. I think they just needed a few songs to warm up and remember they’re the fucking EELS and should stop sucking. I enjoyed most of what they played last night, with the exception of the 20-minute long, self-indulgent, masterbatory, you-need-eight-pounds-of-weed-in-order-to-appreciate-this jam session in the middle of “Not ready yet.” I swear I wanted to kill myself at least eight times during the show. Three times before they even played, actually.

The pre-show music nearly sapped my will to live. Electronic-symphonic musak of the worst songs from the seventies and eighties. I wanted to simultaneously crawl into a hole crying my fool head off and break a bunch of shit. It was intense. Thank goodness it ended sooner than later. I was nearly afraid that the band had shifted beyond my capacity to appreciate them. They haven’t, yet, so I’m still glad to list them among my favorite bands, but I do have to say that I enjoyed their last tour immensely more than this one.

The opening band, Smoosh (pronounced with a long “O”), was fantastic! Sisters! From Seattle! Ages twelve and fourteen! They rocked! Hard! And enthusiastically! With keyboards and drums! I can’t even tell you with exclaimation points how good they were. Their songs were catchy, robust, rockingly performed, and sincere. Poppy but not sugar-coated. Punky but not for marketing purposes. Just good. Rock. Music. Seek them out.