I thought it might be fun to sort of live blog my Lost experience this season. Since I was so late to the party and only (finally) got around to watching the show this summer, I’m going to try to get as much out of it as possible. I’m not going to go into a crazy in-depth analysis, however. I’ll leave that to the expert. This’ll just be a collection of my comments as I’m watching the episodes. When I was catching up on the first five seasons, I used Twitter to make wee little comments here and there. This time, though, I don’t want to accidentally spoil anything for those who are behind this season. (I’ve had to stay away from the internet for TWO WHOLE DAYS before I could see this episode.) Enough introduction, here we go!

PART I:

Hey, it’s Jack and… woah, DES! WTF? Awesome.

Woah. Worst CGI underwater sequence EVAR.

And now on the island, what? Miles and Kate are deaf in the jungle…

HAH! Jack gets a boot to the face. Yeah, Sawyer.

Meanwhile, back on the plane… Luckiest guy in the world, Hurley? How ’bout that! Also, Arnst: STFU. Don’t you have some exploding to do?

and, meanwhile back at the blowed up hatch in an alternate timeline??? A voice from the rubble! Juliet??? But Sayid is dying. 🙁

I guess when Jacob sneaks up on you in the jungle and asks if you got a minute, you say yes, of course.

And back on the plane. Yay, douchey Jin is back. Hurrah.

Hey, it’s FROGURT! YEAH! and Hi, Boone! And John got to go on walkabout? Word. Boone to Locke: “you’re not pulling my leg are you?” BWAHAHAH!

Esau/Not-Locke and Ben in Jacob’s house… woah. Ben, meet the guy you killed. Yeah, John’s still dead, you bastard.

Jacob is dead… and he’s talking to Hurley. Save Sayid! or Juliet!

Meanwhile back on the plane, Charlie’s in trouble, I think. Yup, sure enough. And a baggie is removed from his breathey tube. Hmm… Is he still a junkie? A mule? ponderous.

Hatch: Juliet??? Oh, man, please don’t say we have to watch you die again. Hi to you, too, friend!

Dammit, just do what Jacob said and take Sayid to the temple! Yeah, Hurley! Take charge!

Yeah, Not-Locke, who are you? Invincible, apparently. Hmm. Uh oh… Smokey. Crap. OOh! Protective circle! Nice. Ew. Giant stake through the heart. Shoulda brought a bigger bag o’ magic dust, dude. (Btdubs: I was SO right about Smokey and Not-Locke being the same person-thing. Win!)

Juliet and Sawyer kissy face. D’awww. Something important to say? Are you preggers, J? Dammit, don’t DIE! Again. No no no no no no no.

Plane: “I was supposed to die” says Charlie. Hmmmm. And where did Desmond go? Freaky. But here we are at LAX. Oh, man, Charlie. Wait, Locke’s not getting up. Is he still in his chair? Oh, man, he totes is. Bummer. Bye, Kate. Have fun in prison.

Everyone looks so dejected.

PART II

Crap. She’s really dead. Poor Juliet. Poor Sawyer.

Okay, Hurley, what are you going to do with the giant Ankh? (Yeah, I had that bit spoiled. Oops.) It’s like the Goonies down under the temple! Don’t set off any booty traps, you guys! Um, Kate? What’d you do! I said don’t set off any booty traps! I didn’t see any guns, so she couldn’t have been kidnapped again? Dudes. Jack just got jumped. Again.

Oh, Airport Kate. You stole Jack’s pen. Good thing he didn’t need to perform a tracheotomy or anything. And to the elevator… who’s that? Of course it’s Sawyer.

Ok, Miles, use your dead people skills. What did Juliet want to say??? “It worked.” Hmmm. Ponderous.

Temple time. Wow, that place is like the TARDIS. Freaking huge inside.

Holy crap, they lost Jack’s dad? How do you lose a dead guy?

Woah, jungle stewardess? Don’t shoot! I’ve got a giant ankh and I know how to use it! Well, not really. Ooh, it’s the list! Maybe? Don’t die, Sayid!

Okay, Sun… help with the English already!

Apparently it’s temple bath time. Kate: What’s he doing? Me: testing the water for healing powers, you idiot. What do you think he’s doing? And now for the baptismal allegory. Except with more drowning. Does he yet live? (Arms stretched wide like Jesus on the cross. Nice touch, guys.) What does he mean dead? Isn’t he just mostly dead? You know, still slightly alive? Ok, guys, you set us up for a watery rebirth and all you give us is a dead guy? WTF?

Well, at least Sayid is alive in the other timeline. Hmm, Kate? Shouldn’t you, like, you know, leave the airport soon? Frogurt! Oh, shit! Kate’s been seen! OHAI, Claire!

The gang’s all here, aparently. Party at the temple. Shit just got real. Jacob’s dead, y’all. Quick! Get the magic dust for the circle! Cool. Jungle flare. (Btdubs: I was right with my very first assessment of the magic circle, not my second guess. Should’ve stuck with my first impression of the protective circle to keep something/someone out. To protect the cabin. Instead of thinking it was to keep Esau trapped.)

Locke’s last thought: “I don’t understand.” Yes, that is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. Poor Locke. It’s weird that Not-Locke is speaking about Locke in the third person. So, you want to go home, eh? Where is that exactly? Hmm. Ponderous.

Miles? Did Sayid just say something to you? Oh, Kate? Don’t even try seducing Sawyer. Juliet’s body’s not even cold yet.

Locke to Jack: “They didn’t lose your father, they just lost his body.” And there’s the twinkly eye. Oh, man. Locke lost his knives. Boo. “Nothing’s irreversible.” Huh.

Esau/Not-Locke to Richard before E/N-L knocks out R: “It’s good to see you out of those chains…” WTF does that mean? Crap. Not-Locke is disappointed. This can’t be good.

OHAI, Sayid! Back from the dead I see.

End part II.

Woah.