Yes, that’s right. I only have one pair of pants suitable for wear during the colder months. One pair of jeans, that’s it. The other pants I had hoped to wear again this year, are too small. Somehow, I’ve gained 15 pounds. FIFTEEN freaking pounds! In six months. This is a bit much. And it’s not in the normal places that I gain weight, but instead right around the middle. All of a sudden when I sit down I have to adjust my pants to accomodate for this entity that was never there before. I wouldn’t mind putting on the pounds if I didn’t have to go buy a whole new wardrobe!!! I haven’t any money!

Apparently, when you sit on your bum and knit all day, and do the occasional sewing or maybe even sweeping the floor or doing the washing up, and all you do for activity outside is go out to feed the cats, you gain weight. This comes as a complete shock to me. I haven’t grown accustomed to this new routine of not having a routine. You mean I have to motivate myself??? What is this nonsense?

So, yeah, I’m freaking out because I can’t fit into my baggy pants from last winter, and there’s no way (if I stay like this) I’ll be able to fit into the dress I have to wear for Heather’s wedding. It’s time to bust out the tough girl, and kick my butt into shape. I was doing so well last spring and then school got tough, and then there was the move… and now I’m just lazy. Ok, I’ve said it. I’m lazy… but I’m trying to give myself a pep talk and get moving again.

rant over.

Replies: 2 comments… woo hoo!

it’s not a matter of “fat” or “skinny” it’s a matter of how I feel… and I can’t afford to buy new pants.

It’s a matter of breathing heavy at the top of the stairs in my house because all I do all day is sit on my bum. I may not look it, but I feel out of shape… meaning that my heart and lungs have trouble doing normal stuff like moving my body around.

You only see me in party situations where I’m so excited to see everyone and be around someone else besides myself and Jesse that I can’t sit still.

You don’t see me at home being depressed because all I do is sit around. You don’t see me feeling shitty because I’ve fallen into a funk and I know that the best way for me to feel un-funked is to move around and get my endorphins to kick in.

I’m a person of inertia. And if I feel terrible sitting still and being a lump, then I’m going to keep sitting still and feeling like a lump.

It’s not a “fat” or “skinny” thing, it’s a matter of feeling icky or not. After I posted that message above, I exercised. I looked exactly the same, but I felt a million times better.

I still can’t fit into my pants, though, and that pisses me off.

Perhaps I should re-word what I said. Perhaps I shouldn’t have used the poundage or “weight” word, because that obviously had implications I wasn’t intending. I will emphasize the point I was trying to make. I’m broke. If my pants don’t fit me, I have to go pantless. I need to find a job. And no place that I would want to work is going to hire me if I’m pantless.

so there. piss off.

Posted by sparklej @ 11/19/2003 02:37 PM EST

joelle you r sooo not lazy
you r the biggest ball of energy i know.
plus you are skinny
let the actual fat people complain about our weight
you just go have some more tofu and shush

Posted by chad @ 11/19/2003 12:35 PM EST